Big Paws Only Dog Forums
BPO Just For Fun Forum => Games & Jokes => : shine March 04, 2008, 11:21:22 AM
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My aunt sent me these this morning. Her taste in humor is generally much cleaner than mine...this is probably the first time I have ever posted "clean" jokes...but they made me chuckle:
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said "I have an announcement. It appears we have a case of gonorrhea here at the convent!"
"Thank God," muttered an old nun at the back of the room "I am so tired of Chardonnay..."
and another:
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Sudden ly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife turned to him and exclaimed in exasperation. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?!!" The husband smiled and calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
and my personal favorite:
A man was sitting watching TV when his wife's car came screeching into the driveway. She jumped out, ran into the house and yelled, "Honey, I won the Lottery!! Pack your bags!!"
The husband jumped up and down smiling and waving his arms and exclaimed, "WOW! The Lottery! What should I pack for...the beach or the mountains?!"
"It doesn't matter," his wife replied. "Just get out."
LOLOLOL!!
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HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! I like the second one the best. Only 'cause although I hate to admit it, but I am one of the worst backseat drivers I know, and I think it'd be really funny if someone did that to me. lol ::) ;) :D