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« on: May 29, 2007, 10:18:25 am »
Hey all,
I have been so busy, this weekend was supposed to be relaxing but Tyler worked all weekend and so I just cleaned the house and tied up loose ends and paid bills.
I need some advice, I have been so depressed lately and I am not sure what to do. I have so much on my plate and I think that has a lot to do with it. I'm not enjoying things like I used to and feel full of despair quite often.
Another thing here and you are all going to roll your eyes when you read this is my weight. I have always been kinda nutso about my weight, and even though I am a healthy weight, I have gained like 5 pounds and I feel so disgusted with myself. It sounds so trivial but it rips me apart when I am not the weight i "think" i should be.
Merlin and Sweetpea and Atlas are doing wonderful though. They give me something else to concerntrate on. Atlas is a little monster but a cuddle from him helps a lot.
My new job is tough, its a tight ship and there is very VERY little positive reinforcement, which I really need to work well. I will do like 20 things awesome but they wont say a word and then the one thing I miss they find it and rub my nose in it. Its hard because everyone there is buddy-buddy and I am the new one, most of them have worked there for years. It wears you down after a while.
I just feel like I'm in a sink or swim and I am barely keeping my head above water... I think I am so burnt out, I really just want to take a month off of working and breath and relax. Esp before the wedding.
Thanks for letting me vent.