Big Paws Only Dog Forums

Give up, Chelle.

You're Ellie May Clampett. Barefeet, menagerie and all.

I told you, we're totally onto you. The bunnies talked.

I think I'm humiliated. 

I'm a doxie.

She's just the FUNNIEST thing. She had another incident.

Last night as I got off the bus, there was cop car parked at the gate again, a wrecked bike and a really angry guy yelling at the cop. ( NOT!)

He had ridden too close to her gate, clearly; she barked him right off his bike.     So he's got the cop over there, yelling about how she's a dangerous menace, yada, yada.  My Demon-Roxie is just sitting there at the far end of the barred gate, keeping an eye on them both--until I walked up to the gate. 

She immediately broke her stare, came loping down, and waved her paw at me. So of course, I stopped, I shook her paw, and told her good wave, good girl, and scratched her chin and her chest and just generally made a bit of a scene.

The cop walks over, standing back. "Is this your dog?"

She's slobbering all over my hands and just wiggling. "No, but she knows me. She's a very good girl." Rubbing her eyebrows, with my whole arms right over the top of her gaping wide open jaws. "She doesn't bark at everyone, you know. She only barks at people she doesn't know who get too close to her gate. Come stand by me and see."

So the cop walked within a couple steps of me, and sure enough, she stepped back from my hand (almost like she was saying 'excuse me, I have to work for a minute.') She stepped over directly in front of him, put her head down and glared at him right in the eye and went GA-ROWF!! at him, quite emphatically. (Not only was he too close to her gate, he was interfering with her scratch!) The cop stepped right next to the fence, and she did her 'wild attack' display, jumping up and putting her paws on the bars and just sounding like 700 devils.

I'm standing there about 3 feet away, just watching her. The cop looks at me and says, "Is this all she does? Jumps up on the fence and raises h*ll?"

"Yes. You know, if you step back from the gate, she'll stop--probably she'll come right back to me. She just doesn't let strangers get close to the gates." 

So the cop stepped back a couple steps. "You've seen her do this a lot?"

"She's been doing it for about 3 years now." Sure enough, as soon as he was far enough from her gate, she came right back over to me, and put her chin up, just smiling. I told her she was so smart, guard the gate, good girl! and she just wiggled.

The guy has just been standing there with his fat mouth hanging open, waiting for me to get my arm chewed off. He started to say something, but the cop just put his hand up. "Sir, I told you: there's nothing I can do. She's on her property, it's MARKED with a guard dog sign.  Stay away from the gate! You're on a bike, you should be in the street anyway."

The guy huffed and puffed a few more minutes, but he finally left. I'm kneeling down, rubbing her jowls when the cop says from behind me, "So what's really the deal? Your boyfriend work here or something?"

"No, I told you, she knows me. She's very sweet." I started to give him a short version of the story of the drunk and how the new guy was bringing his kids to play with her, etc. In the meantime, he stepped up to the gate and was standing next to me while I was giving her lovies and talking.

All of a sudden, she reached her paw out, and started tapping the cop on the shoe. He looked at her and said, "Oh, NOW you wanna be friends?" and she totally moved over and let HIM start scratching her while she slobbered all over him. He just stood there loving her and shaking his head about what a terrible vicious dog she was!

Somehow, I don't think the local cops are going to be taking any complaints about her being dangerous very seriously...  

OMG, you said it again!

Seriously, it was far, far too horrible to even begin to relate.  Briefly, as I twitch:

5,000 turkeys
An overturned semi truck
A fence down
A 2 lane highway
A temperature of over 100 degrees

Deponent saith no more.

I need to go splash my face....

Turkeys!

Don't talk about turkeys!!

I have FLASHBACKS about turkeys!!!

What other wife has to clean up COWPIES to get to her washer?!"

All the dairy farmer's wives I know. It's why I'm not a farmer's wife...

Sometimes, I look at the chaos all around me here in LA, where I can't even have a dog of my own to spoil, have to spoil other people's, and I think, "you know, you should have just married him, you could have had all the dogs you want..." and thinking of every hassle there is about living in the city.

Then someone will remind me about livestock in the house and I remember why I went to college!   

Max is forever getting stickers in his paws, and Bactine is what Mom uses on his feeties when she pulls the stickers out; I know I use the pump spray bottle of it when I get a skin reaction to weeds or cardboard.  It works like a charm. Spray or wipe it on Sam's paws and then cover them with socks/booties to keep him from licking it off.  (Max loves the taste of it for some reason.)

Do you have any hydrocortisone cream?  That will help the itchy dermatitis part. If you have some, put the cream on, and socks over it to keep the medicine on.