Author Topic: Mental Hospital Hotline  (Read 2864 times)


  • Guest
Mental Hospital Hotline
« on: August 28, 2006, 03:04:15 pm »
Hello and thank you for calling the State Mental Hospital. Please
from the following menu options.

> If you are obsessive-compulsive press 1 repeatedly.

> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

> If you have multiple personalities, press 3 4 5 and 6.

> If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on
the line so we can trace your call.

> If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
Mother Ship.

> If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will
tell you which number to press.

> If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
nothing will make you happy anyway.

> If you are dyslexic, press 69696969.

> If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep, before the
beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

> If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term
memory loss press 9. If you have short term memory loss press 9.

> If you have low self-esteem then hang up. Our operators are too busy
to talk to you.

> If you are menopausal, put down the gun, hang up, turn on the fan and
lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

> If you are a blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Have a great day!

Gypsy Jazmine

  • Guest
Re: Mental Hospital Hotline
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2006, 07:32:47 pm »
Giggle!...I resemble all of that! :D