Yes. There is no question about whether I will choose my dogs over a boyfriend. Everyone who knows me personally is aware that I will live in a car with my dogs, rather than give them up. In this case, the house is mine and the dogs are my family, so they will stay no matter what.
Part of the reason I posted here is strategic. I felt that it would provide the support I need to remain steadfast in my decision. I can't say that I didn't see this coming, because I've pondered in my own mind what I am willing to put up with. While I did give him a few chances during the last year, because I understood he was dealing with a lot and I wanted to be supportive, there does come a time when enough is enough. I feel it is the best decision that we end our relationship.
They say to be boring, so that is what I've been doing. For the past couple of months I've given him signs that he is pushing me further away with his anger issues. I told him a few months ago that every time he has a negative attitude or tantrum during the weekend I feel different about the relationship. He, too, knows in his heart that I've had enough, because when he called me at work on Friday to act like nothing happened, sweet talk, and apologize, I noticed that he approaches it like this:
"Hey, hon. How are you?"
"Fine," I said.
"Hey, I was really out of line the other night. I think we both were."
"Hmm," I said. "It's complicated--hard to put into words. How do I say this?"
"What?" he said. "You want to call it quits now or something?"
"Here's where I'm coming from..." (I proceed to tell him.)
To this he answers, "So...you've had enough?"
"Yes."
Still, I believe he thinks there is a chance he can talk me out of it. This morning I asked him how long he needs the cell phone, since it's in my name and I have a contract. I told him I'd absorb the cost (basically, I am going to get a different number and share the plan with someone else rather than cancel and pay the fee). He said that he'd pay for it and to that I said, "I think it's best if I take responsibility for it."
He answered, "I think that's a good idea, too."
I've noticed he does this: makes a statement that is half apology, half attempt to rope me into the blame game, then when I respond he immediately doubles back and tries to agree or state what he thinks I want to hear.
I told him quite a while ago when he'd have his tantrums and storm out without saying anything (of course he'd always pack his stuff and act like I should be grateful he gave me the time of day) that eventually, when I make up my mind, it will be final.
After about the third time he did this I stopped responding. I let it go. I waited to see if he'd carry out his threats and, sure enough, he was back apologizing and saying he'd go to anger management classes, but he never did.
Right now I'm feeling pretty refreshed at the idea of being alone. This year I'll be working on my thesis, plus working a full-time job, so I don't need all the hassle and drama.
