Author Topic: The 21 Rules of Halloween  (Read 3344 times)

Offline Leah-n-boy-os

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The 21 Rules of Halloween
« on: October 26, 2006, 07:01:39 am »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D

The 21 Rules Of Halloween!

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see
if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which
they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of
grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to
kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with
somebody else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to h*ll.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would
apply to any other house of the dead as well.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find
out that it's just the cat, GET THE h*ll OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short
circuits; just get out.

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good
reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you
know what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at
east twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact
that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's
still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacterist ic
behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes,
increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, anywhere in Texas
where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to
he nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it
is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a
tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most
likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple
guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers,
butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from
deceased companions.

18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the
time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had
previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some
horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.

19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old
house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight,
not a candle.

20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can
flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.

21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside
Leah and the Boy-os
Apollo (Akita/St. Bernard)
Zeus (Heinz 57)
Onyx (Newfoundland)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Being owned by Big Paws just indicates how big your heart is.

located - Gig Harbor, WA

Icerotti

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Re: The 21 Rules of Halloween
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2006, 07:02:34 am »
hahaha those are good
 ;D ;D ;D

Offline Leah-n-boy-os

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Re: The 21 Rules of Halloween
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2006, 07:13:05 am »
My favs are #16 and... (my kids will kill me) #4.

*Snicker/snort*
Leah and the Boy-os
Apollo (Akita/St. Bernard)
Zeus (Heinz 57)
Onyx (Newfoundland)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Being owned by Big Paws just indicates how big your heart is.

located - Gig Harbor, WA

Kirsti

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Re: The 21 Rules of Halloween
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2006, 07:17:10 am »
I really Like that!  ;D  ;D!!

~K

Offline Gevaudan_Jo

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Re: The 21 Rules of Halloween
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2006, 07:50:28 am »
LOL My house used to be a morgue back in the day... does that REALLY mean i have to live with my inlaws... i'd much rather die! LOL
Jodi & Darcy
Proud Parents of
Zero-Bull Terrier
Jigsaw-Bull Terrier
Repo- Jigsaw's baby Bull Terrier
Reba-Chinese Crested
Pavi-Xolo
Simba,Sabbath,Kimahri, Lil' Meow & Slimon-Cats
Robin the hermit crab and the 8 legged freak, Webley!
~ waiting at the bridge, Zeus and Memphis, great danes ~