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So Frustrated I Could Cry!
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So Frustrated I Could Cry!« on: July 14, 2005, 11:51:14 PM »
OK, everyone, I am so frustrated that I am crying right now, and I could really use some words of wisdom... Sorry, this is really long...
Ranger and I just got back from his walk, and he was mean to another dog. I am just getting so tired and frustrated with it.
Anway, the owner wasn't mad at all, but I just feel so tired of it all. And guilty, and I dont know why... Should I feel bad when my dog was on-leash and under control and her dog wasn't? I warned her not to let her dog approach mine, but I still feel like the jerk here cause my dog was the @ss.
When we adopted him, we specifically were looking for a dog that was dog-friendly, could go to the dog park, the beach, etc., and we were told that he was. He got along great with his "sister" right away and still does. He played with other dogs at the shelter, and we took him to the dog park many times after we got him and he was fine. Then, the "honeymoon period" that you often hear of with shelter dogs was over, and he felt comfortable enough to start showing his true personality. He started a fight with one dog when he was off leash and then it just escalated from there.
I have dealt with leash aggression before, but he has just got me completely confused. To make it worse, Gwen snarls and growls when she plays with him, so sometimes I am not even 100% sure that he isn't actually somewhat trying to play when he sounds like he wants to kill the other dog. He is on a training program where we work with a clicker and treats to position the presence of other dogs as a positive thing for him, so we still take him around other dogs, but he isn't allowed to directly interact with them, and I think that just makes him more likely to growl and fight when he does.
I have read all the books and I know that it isn't reasonable to expect every dog to be dog friendly, and I know that many dogs go through a period around this age when they "mature" and decide that they don't care for every other dog, and he has never actually hurt another dog, but I am just so tired of him being "bad". I know that all the things that I want to do with him and can't are MY problem, not his, and most of the time I can accept that this is just his individual personality and that I have to respect that, but sometimes I am still just so frustrated.
I am tired of always having to be on the lookout for off-leash dogs, tired of always having to always have an explanation about why he can't play, tired of apologizing when he growls at a totally friendly dog, and tired of feeling guilty that he isn't nice. I love him, and maybe I am just blowing this all out of proportion, and I would never give him up, but right now I just feel like I have a rotten dog, and that I am a rotten dog mom cause I can't fix this, and I just want to cry.
(BTW - THIS is why I do not want to bring him to the So. Cal. get together. I don't want to be crying and ready to leave within 5 minutes of our arrival)
Ranger and I just got back from his walk, and he was mean to another dog. I am just getting so tired and frustrated with it.
Anway, the owner wasn't mad at all, but I just feel so tired of it all. And guilty, and I dont know why... Should I feel bad when my dog was on-leash and under control and her dog wasn't? I warned her not to let her dog approach mine, but I still feel like the jerk here cause my dog was the @ss.
When we adopted him, we specifically were looking for a dog that was dog-friendly, could go to the dog park, the beach, etc., and we were told that he was. He got along great with his "sister" right away and still does. He played with other dogs at the shelter, and we took him to the dog park many times after we got him and he was fine. Then, the "honeymoon period" that you often hear of with shelter dogs was over, and he felt comfortable enough to start showing his true personality. He started a fight with one dog when he was off leash and then it just escalated from there.
I have dealt with leash aggression before, but he has just got me completely confused. To make it worse, Gwen snarls and growls when she plays with him, so sometimes I am not even 100% sure that he isn't actually somewhat trying to play when he sounds like he wants to kill the other dog. He is on a training program where we work with a clicker and treats to position the presence of other dogs as a positive thing for him, so we still take him around other dogs, but he isn't allowed to directly interact with them, and I think that just makes him more likely to growl and fight when he does.
I have read all the books and I know that it isn't reasonable to expect every dog to be dog friendly, and I know that many dogs go through a period around this age when they "mature" and decide that they don't care for every other dog, and he has never actually hurt another dog, but I am just so tired of him being "bad". I know that all the things that I want to do with him and can't are MY problem, not his, and most of the time I can accept that this is just his individual personality and that I have to respect that, but sometimes I am still just so frustrated.
I am tired of always having to be on the lookout for off-leash dogs, tired of always having to always have an explanation about why he can't play, tired of apologizing when he growls at a totally friendly dog, and tired of feeling guilty that he isn't nice. I love him, and maybe I am just blowing this all out of proportion, and I would never give him up, but right now I just feel like I have a rotten dog, and that I am a rotten dog mom cause I can't fix this, and I just want to cry.
(BTW - THIS is why I do not want to bring him to the So. Cal. get together. I don't want to be crying and ready to leave within 5 minutes of our arrival)
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« Last Edit: July 14, 2005, 11:58:17 PM by grumpybunny »
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Re: So Frustrated I Could Cry!« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2005, 12:00:47 AM »
Oh Grumps! We love you and you ARE NOT a horrible mommy to Ranger at all. Maybe he does truly have issues with other dogs and maybe he is just "testing" you to see where his limits are. Either way, don't give up. You can and will over come this. Just take it day by day and one small victory at a time. Every little step towards progress is what counts. And cry if you want to and be frustrated. We have all been there and are here for you when you need us. Have a drink, let him chill out in your house with his sister and re-join this ongoing phase in your life tomorrow. You will feel better in the morning I promise! 
Jaime
Mom to one handsome black Bear.
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lumpy.....take a drink, pop some vicotin...and be happy tonight along side me!
angus tried to eat me tonight when i took his bone away...SO, he is getting better with other poeple and dogs, and worse with me LMAO....funny. ...isn't it? no? just me laughing? crap.
you ARENT a bad mom. some dogs are just a little happy in the head...thats all. you are doing everything you can, and you WILL get through this! trust me! k?
and you ARE coming to the july event....becau se it looks like i might move back to missouri in august, and this will be your ONE AND ONLY CHANCE to meet me, cody, and angus. and dont worry, angus will be fighting right along side your baby....so we can drink and laugh together. no crying. k?
feel better!
angus tried to eat me tonight when i took his bone away...SO, he is getting better with other poeple and dogs, and worse with me LMAO....funny. ...isn't it? no? just me laughing? crap.
you ARENT a bad mom. some dogs are just a little happy in the head...thats all. you are doing everything you can, and you WILL get through this! trust me! k?
and you ARE coming to the july event....becau se it looks like i might move back to missouri in august, and this will be your ONE AND ONLY CHANCE to meet me, cody, and angus. and dont worry, angus will be fighting right along side your baby....so we can drink and laugh together. no crying. k?
feel better!
I totally understand!!...Samson loves all dogs but he HATES most people...It is very frustrating!!...Who you should be frustrated with isn't your dog...It's the people walking their dogs off leash!!...Why should Ranger be accosted like that when he is minding his own d$*& business anyway???...Your dog wasn't the a#@...It was the person walking her dog off leash...She is the a@$!...When Ranger is on leash & is approached by a dog off leash it makes him feel vulnerable...H is is a NORMAL dog reaction to the situation...Sh ame on irresponsible dog owners whom you are not one of!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Last Edit: July 15, 2005, 12:42:57 AM by jabear »
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gyp are you drunk? LMAO
Nope...just nuts!...lol! 
. We have been doing exactley what Marion has suggested. He seems to be making some progress. We walk with a favorite treat in our pockets and when we see another dog we first try to pretend that everything is normal, but if we notice his body language is changing we tell him first to sit, then down, and then a treat and lots of praise!!! He loves the attention and treats more than he likes to growl at the other dogs. He is absoltley fine if he is off leash and meets another dog, but as soon as his lead is on..... We are working on it and maybe always will be. When we encounter dogs being walked in public off lead I immediatley tell them that Hutch has leash aggression, please keep your dog away, we are training right now. I have found that most people won't be so p!ssy when you let them know that you recognize your dog has an issue and you are in the middle of a training session to over come it. If they are, well they are the ones that are breaking any public by-law by walking their dog off lead.
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