Author Topic: something happy for today (long)  (Read 3676 times)

Offline Duramax

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something happy for today (long)
« on: June 18, 2007, 08:13:17 am »
Things I Must Remember as a Dog
Author Unknown
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
I will not eat the cats' food--before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.
Kitty box crunchies" although they are tasty are not food.
I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad's laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's driver's license and car registration.
I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option after just getting a bath.
Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply and just because the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.
The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Dog Property Laws!
Author Unknown

DOG PROPERTY LAWS 1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.

Inside every Newfoundland, Boxer, Elkhound and Great Dane is a puppy longing to climb on to your lap.

Helen Thomson

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

Dave Barry

I called our hotel but the response was "I'm sorry, sir. We've been booked up for months." With sudden inspiration, I called back.... This time I said, "Hello, this is Shana's human..." and this time the response was, "Oh yes, sir. Come on down. We always have a room for you." It really puts you in your place when your dog can get a hotel room, but you can't.

J. Emmett Black, Jr., on how all the staff at a certain Holiday Inn knew his dog by name, but not him. Crime was reduced whenever Shana stayed there; she's a 120 pound Great Dane.


Christina
mother of:
2 babies
2 great danes -Duramax
              -boog


"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." -Unknown

Offline GoldenPyrs

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Re: something happy for today (long)
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2007, 04:38:15 pm »
Loved them!   ;D ;D ;D
Marie

And my pups:
Daisy a 9 y/o Golden/Lab mix
Sammy a 6-7(?) y/o Great Pyrenees adopted 3/07
Cassie a 3 y/o Pyr/Mystery Snuggle Bunny mix adopted 2/07

My angel girls waiting at the Bridge:
Cara 1989-2001 Great Pyrenees
Sally ? - 1993 Dobie(rescued '92)
Halley 2002-2006 Great Pyrenees