Author Topic: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES  (Read 3787 times)

Offline kathryn

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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« on: June 18, 2007, 09:54:38 am »
I needed a laugh today and it sounds like everyone else could use one too.  I hope you enjoy it.  


AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will almost instantly remove itself.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

       Thought for the day:

      SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS .
Kaila - Belgian Malinois
Shiner - Malinois x Ridgeback
Toulouse, Cayenne, Raven - DSH



Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for the inconvenience

Offline dober_gurl

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2007, 09:59:12 am »
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH A Those were great! I especially loved
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

and

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS .
"None left to rescue, none left to buy, none left to suffer, none left to die. None to be beaten, none to be kicked...all must be loved and all must be fixed"

Maggie-Doberman
Molly-Papillon
Mickey-Mutt
Collin-Kitty
Sunny-Amazon Parrot
Squishy-Guinea Pig
Harper/Lyric-Rats

Offline kathryn

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2007, 10:19:26 am »
#2 was my favorite followed closely by #5.
Kaila - Belgian Malinois
Shiner - Malinois x Ridgeback
Toulouse, Cayenne, Raven - DSH



Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for the inconvenience

Offline 2Criminals

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2007, 11:30:21 am »
They were all really good, but the note at the end was by far the best part. I met someone today that should definately beware of stairs ;D

Anakalia

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #4 on: June 18, 2007, 12:40:33 pm »
HAHAHAHAHA!! Too funny, thanks for the laugh!  ;D

Offline GoldenPyrs

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #5 on: June 18, 2007, 04:03:31 pm »
That was great, thanks!!!   ;D  ;D  ;D
Marie

And my pups:
Daisy a 9 y/o Golden/Lab mix
Sammy a 6-7(?) y/o Great Pyrenees adopted 3/07
Cassie a 3 y/o Pyr/Mystery Snuggle Bunny mix adopted 2/07

My angel girls waiting at the Bridge:
Cara 1989-2001 Great Pyrenees
Sally ? - 1993 Dobie(rescued '92)
Halley 2002-2006 Great Pyrenees

Offline bhender254

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #6 on: June 18, 2007, 08:05:21 pm »
My husband lives by rule #8. The rest are very funny also. Thanks I needed a laugh to start my day.