Author Topic: Update on my ugly Divorce  (Read 4220 times)

Offline Blair

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Update on my ugly Divorce
« on: June 22, 2007, 02:13:56 am »
Things are starting to get ugly....all Ben's doing not mine. First off I am at my Parents' house cause there was no way I could afford to stay at my house and Ben wasnt going to give me any money. But I already talked to my Lawyer and things are getting started. We have a joint bank account and Ben is going to close it so now I have no way to get money. I have child support coming in from my oldest daughter, but thats nothing. So far Ben only gave me $60 last week and wont give me anymore!! Right now I have no money and I cant do much. The Lawyer said he will have to pay me temporary support while he Divorce is going on but we arent there yet. So being I have no money and Ben isnt giving me any I couldnt stay at my house. I want to go back to my home so bad but my parents tell me I cant afford it even when Ben is giving me money. We never had that much money to begin with, we always lived pay check to pay check. As of right now Ben is doing everything he can to screw me. And the custody of Skyla hasnt even started yet and I know that will get ugly!!! I told Ben the man I married died and I have no idea who he is and I dont like him. I never thought he could do this to me when he use to tell me every single day he loved me more. He took my life and the 2 girls lives away from them and he doesnt even care. everything is for him cause he has all the money and the house, while I have the kids and no money. I dont understand how he can do this to me :'( :'( :'(

Offline kathryn

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2007, 03:03:37 am »
Blair

I'm so sorry that you are going through all this and that Ben is being such a complete a$$.  I can't even begin to understand all that you are feeling and going through right now.  But if you need anything please let me know and I'll do what I can to help.
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lins_saving_grace

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2007, 03:15:06 am »
hang on, Blair, you'll get through it.  he's making it easy for you to get on without him and like it that way.  and it sounds like he's just being selfish.  no they don't care when they are selfish like that.  you'll be fine!!!   and he can't keep the money in the account from you...it's 1/2 yours.  make him pay for the divorce...1.) he wants it and 2.) you have no money, and don't let him forget that.  he's leaving you destitute!!!!  that's not fair. 

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2007, 03:27:31 am »
Oh Blair - I am sooooo sorry you are going through this!  How could he NOT support his daughter, at the very least  -not to mention you - who ran the household and is raising your daughter! Oh his true, spinelss, selfish, cruel, and true character is really coming through. This just makes me so angry!

And - you are just as entitled to the money in that joint account.. I say - run to the back and withdrawl it for you and your family - he will have to support you one way or another and that is a start.

I am so glad you've contacted a lawyer.

Hang in there sweetie - you and your family will be so much better off in the long run!

Sending tons of hugs your way!

Offline Blair

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2007, 03:32:37 am »
Im just a wreck right now!! Grey and Zeus are at home with him cause I cant have them at my parents' house and its killing me  :'( But I have a local friend who has a female dane that might take Grey for me for now, so I feel a little better now.

Modify to add he already drain the bank account and he just got paid yesterday. So he is making sure I have no way to get to "his" money
« Last Edit: June 22, 2007, 03:34:17 am by Blair »

Offline Butts Mom

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2007, 03:33:30 am »
I know it's hard but keep your chin up.Push your lawyer to get that temporary support order in place,my lawyer had mine in place in less then a week.Sending lots of hugs your way.
Michelle, Butt, Tub and Everybirdie

lins_saving_grace

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2007, 03:40:38 am »
Im just a wreck right now!! Grey and Zeus are at home with him cause I cant have them at my parents' house and its killing me  :'( But I have a local friend who has a female dane that might take Grey for me for now, so I feel a little better now.

Modify to add he already drain the bank account and he just got paid yesterday. So he is making sure I have no way to get to "his" money
LEGALLY he CAN'T do that.

Offline Blair

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2007, 03:46:50 am »
I know but he thinks its HIS paycheck and I have no right to it. I know he will get it in the end and he will be sorry when this is all over and done with!! Im done playing nice, he is taking everything from me slowly and I cant handle it anymore!

lins_saving_grace

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2007, 04:40:37 am »
I know but he thinks its HIS paycheck and I have no right to it. I know he will get it in the end and he will be sorry when this is all over and done with!! Im done playing nice, he is taking everything from me slowly and I cant handle it anymore!
so he can keep his paycheck...it's YOUR house since you clean it and cook in it and raise kids in it and make it a home for HIM!!!!   is Texas a Dower right state??  I bet it is!!!!!!!!  you have at least homestead rights in that house no matter what...wether you work or not...that house is marital property...not his and not yours.  his check is marital property too!!!
and he's not the one who sets the rules from now on.  that's what the lawyers are for.  let them deal with him and straighten him out.  i hate men who do what they want because they "know how it is" and want to do things their way. 
you might not know him any more...but he's starting to sound a lot like a man i knew all too well. 
« Last Edit: June 22, 2007, 04:42:16 am by Lin »

Offline Duramax

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2007, 05:06:54 am »
im so sorry you're having to go through this. you're in our thoughts, know were here for you.
Christina
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Offline happiday

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #10 on: June 22, 2007, 05:26:22 am »
My 2 cents:  Document Everything!  Write down that he emptied the bank account. Date, time, amount, if you know it.  There's a lot to be said about a good offense! (The best defense...yada yada!)  That way you have more than just your memory to rely on.  Write down dates, times, phone conversations, in person meetings, every contact, because it's not just a marriage here, you're fighting for the care and futures of your children!  We stand behind you, Blair.  Strenghten your backbone with the support you are getting from your family and your BPO friends.  You're right, this is not the time to play nice to him, but in-your-face-nasty won't work, either.  Calm, cool, intelligent and pulled together.  You are a strong woman!  Yes.  This is a horrible situation to be in.  You will come through this!
Salli, Annie's mama!

Offline pink2378

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #11 on: June 22, 2007, 06:09:25 am »
I am so so sorry to hear what you are going through.  My heart is so sad for your pain especially since it was such a sneaky low blow.

I have nothing to add to what has been said.

Just wanted you to know that you aren't alone and that you will make it through this and my oh my what a woman you will be when it is all over.  You will be stronger, smarter and more capable than you ever though you could be and you will be unstoppable in whatever you put your mind to.  What a great role model for your girls!

Offline kathryn

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #12 on: June 22, 2007, 06:45:39 am »
This is only what I would do if it were me but then again I tend to play nasty when someone hurts me.  Go to the bank and get copies made of the last transaction of the closing of the account.  The bank has to give you copies since it was a joint account and your name is on it plus Texas is a community property state.  Take that to your lawyer.  Also tape all phone conversations you have with him from now on.  You can tape them even without his consent or knowledge because you are the one taping it and you knowingly did it.  Give the tapes to your lawyer.  Always try and be as polite as possible in those tapes.  You want to show that you are the better person and have tried to be nice and reasonable.  Then go to the batting range and hit some balls and picture his face on those baseballs.  That will relieve the stress from pretending to be nice to him.  To get you some ready cash - I would go to the house and have a garage sale.  I would sale everything and then offer him half the proceeds.  It's community property and you have 2 kids to support.  That last idea will cause things to get really ugly but like I said I don't play nice.  Big hugs to you.
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bigdogs@5501

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #13 on: June 22, 2007, 09:54:32 am »
I am so sorry to hear that you are having to go thru this- I am here if you need me- we couldnt be that far away- 3-4 hours- I would take both boys if I could- but I am a bit at my limit and Jake is horrible with other male dogs- But if you need help with transport for a foster- you can count on me- Stay positive, I know it is hard- but in a year from now you will have restarted your life for the better. Again if you need anything and I can help- dont hesitate to PM me and I will give you my cell phone number.
Paige

Offline Moni

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Re: Update on my ugly Divorce
« Reply #14 on: June 22, 2007, 10:57:30 am »
Sorry that I missed your call earlier hun.  The kids are off from school and I have my neice for a week or two.  So I've been in and out a lot with them and also playing musical car with Jay.  :-\  Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. I'm not much help with legal mumbojumbo, but I hope that it all gets straightened out soon for you!  *hugs*
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