Author Topic: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...STILL NOT OVER!!!  (Read 17228 times)

AudgePadge

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I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...STILL NOT OVER!!!
« on: July 18, 2008, 10:38:24 am »
So...Roscoe is...7 months, he has a sister named Mia.  Mia's mommy and I are co-workers and we are good friends outside of the office (obviously...we have matching dogs :P)

Well Momma Mia (I couldn't resist) Is having issues, she has 3 dogs, and a piglet...She is now overwhelmed with her animals (and her man) and has asked me to take Mia in.  As in...take over her responsibiliti es as a pet owner...

Hm... Well, this is tough for me, since...we just got a new house...alread y have to dogs, a goat and some chickens.  Now the goat and chickens aren't as "high-maintenance" and they cost little-to-nothing to feed, so for the sake of argument...I only have 2 real pets...Roscoe and Monty...

Hubs and I, although we have plenty of room for Mia, our home is a modest 1100 sq ft.  and to be honest, I'm not worried about not being able to give her attention, or love or even food...it's the "What-IF" I'm worried about...

What if more than one gets sick/injured/cancer etc...I don't know if I can afford to pay for 2 English Mastiff-sized surgeries... I know it's a total reach, and I'm probably being paranoid...

BUT, a couple years ago, Monty swallowed a tennis ball and after a few grand to get it out...a week later, our Pitbull Oreo got bladder stones and after several hundred, the vet couldn't gurantee he would even live through surgery  :'(  And ever since then, it haunts me that I could've, should've saved him...

Another thing is...they've been brought-up and trained differently, and their personalities are soooo different.  Roscoe is an obnoxious, disgusting boy who eats goat poop...and will bark at a butterfly- but he's confident, semi-independent and gets along well with the other animals in the house.  He runs around the yard all day with Elvis and Monty.

Mia on the other hand, is...not an outdoorsy type of girl.  She is crated for about...8-10 hours while her mom is at work, and then played with for a few hours, and back into the crate to sleep.  She doesn't seem to mind since that's all she knows.  But, I worry-what if she's in the yard with the boys, freaks out and digs under the fence, runs away, gets hit by a car, etc.  She's SUPER timid, neurotic even...  She doesn't even like to get dirty...very quiet, and scared to do anything "out of line"

So... My question is...what do I do??? Tell me what to do!

Mia's mom said we could have a trial period with her, and if it doesn't work out...then...w e give her back.  But I couldn't do that to the girl...

(sorry, I told you it was long!)


Here is their last outing...
Mia at 6 months


Mia


Mia on the left, Roscoe on the Right




These are when they were around...3 months...

Mia and Monty



Roscoe and Mia
« Last Edit: August 08, 2008, 10:03:48 am by AudgePadge »

Offline Scootergirl

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...(long, BUT, I have pics)
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2008, 02:34:14 pm »
Why don't you tell your friend that you would love to be able to take Mia, but your home and finances just won't allow you to give her the attention and care she deserves, but you would be more than happy to help her find Mia a perfect home.

You can offer to network breed rescue sites, call local rescue organizations, etc. and, if worse comes to worst, foster her until you find a suitable home.

It sounds to me like you would like to be able to take Mia, but realistically it may give you more stress than joy. It sounds like you've thought through this and already know that's your decision, but you don't want to let your friend - or Mia - down.

I think helping her find a good home for Mia would help her just as much.
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between dog and man." -- Mark Twain

jesday

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...(long, BUT, I have pics)
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2008, 03:26:09 pm »
Putting finances aside for the moment as Mia doesn't seem to have any immediate issues; to address some of the other concerns. I think with a little time, she will become more at ease in the great outdoors, especially with brother and others to show her how fun it is. If she is that timid, I would think she would hunker closer to the house rather than try desperately to get out by digging under fence etc. Obviously it will take time on your part as she adjusts. (Personally sounds like she would have a better life not having to be crated that many hours on a daily basis).

But what is your heart telling you? Are you considering it because her mommy is a friend of yours and you don't want to disappoint her? If it were anyone else asking would you have no problem saying "no"?

And one other option is you may be able to help Mia's momma with perhaps some training or visitations so she doesn't feel so overwhelmed until some of the puppyhood has passed and Mia can become a better member of her family. Puppyhood seems to last forever, but once passed, owners lives settle down and some of the issues resolve themselves.

I agree with AudgePadge. Talk if over with your hubs and see if the two of you are thinking along the same lines.

Good luck. I know it must be distressing to a fellow BPO to have to turn down a dog in need if that is what you need to do.
 

Offline ZooCrew

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...(long, BUT, I have pics)
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2008, 06:20:04 pm »
I have to agree with the others here.  Talk it over with hubby to see what his thoughts on it are.

And I think maybe fostering her until you could rehome her is a good second option.  Not only would it give your friend the relief she needs, it may give you an idea as to whether things might work out permanently for you or not.  Granted the money questions will always be there, but I don't know of many people that don't have those concerns.  I know if all 4 of mine were to have something major happen at the same time, I don't think I could afford it.

Offline Ali

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...(long, BUT, I have pics)
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2008, 07:09:06 pm »
I have nothing new to add - I like everybody's suggestions. Have a heart to heart with hubby and hash it out. See what he's thinking. The fostering is a great idea, because then you can help your friend and Roscoe's sister without making a lifelong commitment that you may not be ready for. Then, if you find that Mia blends well, you could reasess your position. The key is what your heart tells you, I think. Imagine for a sec that your friend called you up and said "Hey, I put Mia on Craigslist, and a really nice family met her and wants her. I'm checking their references tonight". Is your initial instinct relief, or Oh No - Roscoe's sister has to be HERE? Just mull it over a bit. Good luck. That is a tough call!
Ali
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Offline navarre1316

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...(long, BUT, I have pics)
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2008, 11:50:06 pm »
OOH tough one, especially since she is sooo cute!!!!!  But that's beside the point!!  I think listen to your gut (good point made to think if it wasn't your friend would you say no), talk to hubs, and maybe foster first.  Good luck!
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AudgePadge

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...UPDATED!!!
« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2008, 10:22:09 am »
So....last night, I went out with Hubs...we discussed the pros and cons over dinner... Decided IF...Mia had absolutely NO WHERE to go...we would take her in... It's just that...

Remember a few weeks ago...Pre-Goat era, that we were going to get another dog...For running... and obviously, Mia is not a running dog...and...th en we decided "not right now" since we still have a lot of settling in to do...So, Hubs said..."you know what? Call her, we're taking Mia...I'll just have to get Monty back in shape" :P

I'm at a concert last night at the Soboba Casino (not that great btw) ...around 9pm, I get a txt from my friend saying "Guess who chewed and destroyed my $300 digital camera...that's right! Mia..."

9:26pm txt #2 "Mia's gone...The people who came that were interested in Newman (the pig) came and took her"

HOLY SH*T!! Just like that??? THey decided "Hm...I've always wanted a mastiff...I'll take the dog instead of your pig"


11:15pm txt #3 "they're bringing Mia back...They're 3 little toy dogs are 'beating her up'  I'll explain later"

Uh......okay

I talked to her around 11:25pm, she said, the couple is brining Mia back because the wife got scared when she saw how big Mia was next to her little chiwow-wows and Pom AND her 10month old baby girl...She got scared, thought that Mia would eat the dogs or the baby...brought her back...

So I told my friend..."I'm coming over tomorrow, and I'm pickin her up" you know what she said???? "I gave you a chance...but there are other people that want her...and at least I can get back ($600) what I paid for her with them.  If no one works out I'll let you know"


WOW! Really??? It's my fault...I waited too long...

Offline Ali

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...UPDATED!!!
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2008, 10:25:48 am »
OMG! What a witchy thing to say!! Er, how good of friends are you guys, anyway? I can't believe that she is more concerned about getting her stupid money back than finding Mia a safe home. That is so so so sad. Poor Mia. :'(
Ali
mom of 4 humans AND
Tani (TAH-nee or rhymes with "Bonnie")- Aussie/Pittie?Boxer?Mutt!
Kai - Aussie/Dobie
Kenji - big ol' black cat
Mika and Nishi - kitty sisters, foster failures!
Tasia Ladysnake - ball python

Offline kathryn

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...UPDATED!!!
« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2008, 10:30:50 am »
I don't even know what to say to that!  I have a few ideas but since she's a friend of yours I won't voice them.  I can understand being overwhelmed and even being upset that the 5 month old puppy ate the digital camera but why would you just give her away to the 1st person that walks into your yard and that person was wanting a pig not a dog!  That doesn't make any sense at all to me.  I'm so sorry for you and for Mia.  It's hard being jerked around like that for no good reason.
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AudgePadge

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...UPDATED!!!
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2008, 10:41:02 am »
I always thought we were pretty good friends...I mean, if it wasn't for HER...who decided she wanted a mastiff...and if she hadn't found a breeder that HAPPENED to have 2 brindle pups, male and female...I wouldn't have drove out to AZ with her, and got Roscoe in the first place...

It irks me so bad, I thought we were on the same level when it came to our animals...I tried to put myself in her position..but I could NEVER imagine giving Roscoe up...

(accept  NOW because he's howling up a storm since Hubs and Monty left for a run this morning...even the goat looks annoyed  :-*)

*dont get me wrong, i LOVE pigs BUT*  She's only had that pig for a week...and she chose to keep the pig and not Mia... :(

I'm so...angry, annoyed, hurt...and...I've lost so much respect for her...its sad, I thought I knew her...

AudgePadge

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...UPDATED!!!
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2008, 10:47:59 am »
...I can understand being overwhelmed and even being upset that the 5 month old puppy ate the digital camera but why would you just give her away to the 1st person that walks into your yard and that person was wanting a pig not a dog!

Kathryn...I know I don't have to tell you, or anyone else on BPO...our dogs have done SO MUCH WORSE...than a camera, and we're mad for a little bit...but...so me times...it's our fault...and then we take pictures of the mess and post it on the site...

I forgot to mention...the thing my friend hates most about Mia...is the thing me and Hubs LOVE most about Roscoe---They are vocal...not too much "barky" but more...moans and groans about the woes of being a dog...Lots of complaining... and I think it's hilarious!  She isn't crazy about the drooling either...um... Helllllo??? It's the first thing you read about Mastiffs right???  The drool will end up on your door knobs and ceiling fans (thats another story)  And I hate the drool...but it totally grosses me out and makes me laugh...it makes my friend angry...

I don't know you guys, I'm just venting...I'm sorry for the ring-around rants...

Offline kathryn

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...UPDATED!!!
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2008, 11:02:14 am »
Feel free to vent away.  I completely understand the puppy frustration with chewing.  Shiner ate the download cable for my digital camera when he was little.  I never could find another one and finally had to take one for the team and buy a new digital camera.   ;)  But it wasn't his fault, he was a puppy.  I just don't get it.  I can even understand her deciding that she just can't handle a mastiff puppy or a mastiff for that matter and wanting to find a good home for her.  But to offer her to you and then to just throw things back in your face because she now wants to make money back is not justifiable.
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Offline Ali

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...UPDATED!!!
« Reply #12 on: July 19, 2008, 03:52:04 pm »
Wow - this whole story is more and more nuts. Sounds like you lost a friend, but on the other hand, she may not be a friend worth having. She's not bad for not wanting Mia, but the way she's handling it is BAD. I've made mistakes - we thought it would be fun to have sugar gliders, read the books, etc. We took in a pair with a giant cage. They were cute, but LOADS of work and very, very smelly (which the book doesn't tell ya). We enjoyed them, but realized we made a mistake. We found a good home for them when we could, and that was that. NOT my proudest moment, for sure, but, I think we ended up handling it ok. So, if she read up on mastiffs, drool, etc, maybe she thought she could handle it but came to find out it's just not clicking with her. Too bad she's handling it so poorly, though. Mia suffers for it, and she didn't do anything wrong. It's a good idea to contact the breeder and rat her out, if you're not worried about salvaging the friendship. If it's a good, reputable breeder, I'm sure they'd rather have Mia back than whatever alternative this chick might come up with. You're certainly entitled to a big ol' rant, though. Oh, and yeah, Kai chewed up my son's light up Iron Man sandals last night. Ok, it's no digital camera, but I got new sandals today and life goes on. She's 7 months old, I wasn't watching her, boy left his sandals out. We may as well have given her an engraved invitation!
Ali
mom of 4 humans AND
Tani (TAH-nee or rhymes with "Bonnie")- Aussie/Pittie?Boxer?Mutt!
Kai - Aussie/Dobie
Kenji - big ol' black cat
Mika and Nishi - kitty sisters, foster failures!
Tasia Ladysnake - ball python

lookingfornewf

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...UPDATED!!!
« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2008, 05:06:53 pm »
I think you were being a very good friend and she is not the person you thought she was. I doubt anyone will pay her $600 and she'll probably come back to you. I don't know what you should do then. I would be very upset if I were in your situation.
And why do pups like digital cameras? Mine has a big chunk out of it courtesy of Clifford, and also the USB cable only works if I twist and turn it just right, also Clifford's chewing. Maybe they don't like us taking all those pictures of them doing bad things. ::) or being just plain goofy. ;D

AudgePadge

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Re: I Need BPO's Advice...I have a Dillema...UPDATED!!!
« Reply #14 on: July 19, 2008, 05:38:42 pm »
Well all...Here's the final leg of this story...

Mia is now with a couple in San Clemente somewhere...Th is couple was found on Craigslist.  From what my "friend" tells me...they're very good people (which I don't doubt)  I just can't believe she was so desperate to get rid of Mia that she just gave her to the first people who responded to her ad.  No home check, evals, etc...I don't know if she got her whole $600 back though...

I was actually in the middle of emailing the breeder this morning when I got the txt about Mia...Now I feel it's pointless to tattle on her...  I asked my friend for the couple's # to see if Roscoe could come down and visit his sister sometime...we'll see if she responds to that...


Meanwhile...I'm going through pics of Mia, and I miss her...so sad, she's not even my dog! I hope she's better off... I guess I'll never know...

<3

*Side note to Ali regarding Iron Man sandles...wher e did you get them? and...do you think they come in adult sizes???