Author Topic: how to help a partner with a loss  (Read 5180 times)

Offline jennifer

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how to help a partner with a loss
« on: July 29, 2008, 07:45:21 am »
While we're mourning the loss of Bear, no one is more affected than Nakita, his partner for six years. It's heart-breaking to watch her anxiously search through the house and around the yard looking for him, whimpering quietly. How to help her through this process? I'd be grateful for any known "do's and don'ts" to help her through this transition.  :-\ :-[
:) Jennifer
Mom to Saint Nakita and Charlie the cat

RIP sweet Bear (9/02-8/08)

Offline pyr4me

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Re: how to help a partner with a loss
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2008, 05:06:00 pm »
This might sound weird, but what if you went around the house with her as you picked up and put away Bear's things that were just his--food bowl, toy, bed, etc.--and have her watch and sniff afterwards and check it out. Maybe that would help her see that her buddy is not coming back.  :'(

It sounds so heartbreaking for all of you. You will all need time to adjust to the loss of Bear. I imagine you are all looking for him to come around the corner. My heart goes out to you all.
Jennifer

Tipper (8 1/2 yrs) Golden Retriever/Sheltie mix
Jenny (4 yrs) Great Pyrenees
Gabriel (14 yrs) Sealpoint Himalayan cat
Melanie (11 yrs) Domestic medium hair cat

"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us."
~Robert Lewis Steven

Offline newfsie

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Re: how to help a partner with a loss
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2008, 04:14:57 pm »
I can so relate to this, Tessa our golden cross was destitute when Zack (my atavar) had to be put down. We quite unexpectedly got another Newf rescue, Annabelle, and they are now great mates. Tessa does however still lie on Zack's grave some evenings, quietly by herself. They mourn and she knows we do, because she will sit beside you in a very quiet manner when we are talking or thinking of our dearest Zack. We only had to put him down late may. So it is all still very raw. :'(
They (dogs) also get used to the empty space left behind. Annabelle did not take Zacks place, she just took another space. And she really needed to be loved.


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Offline MagicM3

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Re: how to help a partner with a loss
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2008, 08:17:02 pm »
Dealing with loss is hard on everyone in the family..
and our fur kids grieve just like we do..

When Magic passed both Emma and Falkor were with him..and once I could move and speak I made sure that they got to say goodbye before we wrapped him up and took him away..

I think it helped..but Emma was very depressed for several days and Falkor was kinda lost..but they are doing well now and don't seem to look for him to come back any more..

It just takes time and like us we learn to adjust to them not being in our sight..

Tricia and the fur kids