Author Topic: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION  (Read 17555 times)

Offline declanssexymama

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #15 on: November 03, 2005, 10:54:03 am »
I am so sorry that you even have to make this decision.  It is so very difficult to do.  In my opinion, you would be doing the right thing by humanely euthanising her.  A dog that cannot be trusted cannot live a happy, normal life with their human.  I know you only want what is best for her.  My heart goes out to you right now.  I'm so sorry.
God help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.

Offline newflvr

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #16 on: November 03, 2005, 11:42:14 am »
Oh, smohr, if I could put my arms around you and consol you, I would!  You phrased it exactly right....gut wrenching!!!  I've told you our experience with "Teddy" the Akita who we could never trust and we had him live on a lunge line in the back of the house.  Was it the right thing to do?  Of course not!  But I didn't have the courage to look the problem honestly in the face, as you are doing.  Only you can make the decision and we will all back you no matter what! 

Offline WhiteShepherdDog

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #17 on: November 03, 2005, 11:45:31 am »
I am so sorry for your pain.
Unfortunately, you can't do much to change the genetics of the dog and the early life of it with its mother and that is the fault of the breeder!
If it is behavioral though, a canine behaviorist can help.
First you need to find a vet who has experience with dogs with issues to find out if there is a medical/genetic cause for problems.
The treatment that a behaviorist recommends will be costly ---- mostly it will be teaching you how to intervene and eliminate the dogs reactiveness. It will take hours of your time and money, too.
It is not hopeless though...like Cesar Milan shows - it is training the handler.....
teaching you how to handle the dog until it learns what is expected.
I have a dog I crate when there is too much happening in the house....why subject it to something that stresses it?
You can see if this behaviorist can suggest anyone in your area.
http://www.lmccb.com/index.htm
Regards,
Martha in Texas

Offline Stephanie

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #18 on: November 03, 2005, 12:11:15 pm »
Smohr,
I am so sorry you have to face this decision. It's not your fault, you have tried so hard to help her.

I think it is sad she has ended up this way. Whoever had her before you must have "hurt" her pretty bad. Too many people just don't understand neos. They are not mean and agressive dogs at all. They are very strong physically but mentally they are so very sensitive. It doesn't take much at all to "hurt" their feelings. Then they become untrusting and scared which leads to their agression.

IMO, I think Petra is just very scared and this is why she is agressive. She has finally come to trust you, but still doesn't trust anyone else and it has taken a lot to even get this far and a long time.

I really don't know if she can be turned around completly since I have never dealt with this before personally. I think maybe she could with a behaviorist but it would probably take a long time and a lot of work.
My heart goes out to you and Petra.
Steph
« Last Edit: November 03, 2005, 12:18:48 pm by Stephanie »

Offline ZooCrew

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #19 on: November 03, 2005, 03:14:32 pm »
I'm sorry to hear that you may have to make the final decision on Petra.  We all know how hard you have been working with her.  Some things are just beyond our control, and no one would think less of you if you did need to put her down.  This truly is a gut wrenching decision and know that we are behind you no matter what you decide.

smohr

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #20 on: November 03, 2005, 05:01:37 pm »
B.t.w., did you e-mail Cesar Milan?

I e-mailed him and the other place one of you advised and Mr. Milan is "busy" and the other hasn't replied. 

I contacted a "severe-behavior modifier" Carole Hazel and am waiting on a reply.  She was advertised in a local "Bulletin Board" but I didn't see many big dogs she has worked with in her dog success stories on her website.  Have any of you heard of her?

This is my last hope as I have talked to and taken Petra to other behaviorists who observed and advised, delicately, not to keep her or out right told me to euth her. 

I sat out on the deck in the sun w/her today and she put her head on my lap, looking into my eyes and I just couldn't help but cry.  I petted and talked with her while she licked my fingers.  If I could just have her all to myself and no one around, no distractions or confusion, she MAY be ok.  One of the behaviorist who saw her said she may just have some mental problems inherited or from the previous abuse.   :'(

Anakalia

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #21 on: November 03, 2005, 05:14:30 pm »
Oh no!!  This is heartbreaking for me, so I can't imagine how your feeling.  I had to put my cat to sleep for behavioral purposes and it's a very hard thing to do.  Just know that whatever you decide we are here to support you in your decisions.

Andi

Offline VdogLover

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #22 on: November 03, 2005, 05:33:00 pm »
Heres a list of Certified Dog Behavior Consultants. I'm not sure if the woman you spoke of is on here or not...there should be some listed for your location.
http://www.iaabc.org/consultant_locator_dogs.htm

Offline Senghe

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #23 on: November 03, 2005, 05:34:57 pm »


Should I turn her over to a rescue?


I'm so sorry to hear that you may have to make such a heart wrenching decision with Petra. Whatever you do, please don't turn her in to another rescue society. It sounds like the poor girl has been through enough without the mental anguish of being abandoned again by the only person she trusts and either end up being passed on to somebody else who can't cope and biting somebody or euthanized alone by strangers at the rescue.  Psychological damage is much harder on the owner and the dog than a physical problem. It would be hard enough if she had cancer and was obviously sick, but contemplatimg putting a perfectly healthy young dog to sleep is horrible.

My heart goes out to you both, but I'm sure you'll take responsibility for Petra. A Neo is too big a dog to be unsure about and if she did bite, she could theorteically kill somebody. Our dogs rely on us to make decisions for their best interests and tragically, sometimes it's the ultimate decision.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2005, 05:35:51 pm by Senghe »

Offline Good Hope

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #24 on: November 03, 2005, 05:52:54 pm »
Well, if the behaviorists don't see any hope in your ability to manage her, you really don't have many options.

Since she is fine with you, you could take her somewhere and become a hermit.  Maine is a nice place, and there is plenty of semi-wilderness for you to live.   :D

However, that is probably not an option.  :-\  This really is a terrible decision.  Euthanizing her seems to be necessary, since even behaviorists have recommended it.    :(  Passing poor Petra on to someone else's problem doesn't seem like a good idea, unless you can find a behaviorist to take her.  They would have enough knowledge to keep anyone from getting hurt, but others might not know what they are getting into with a large and aggressive dog.

It is sad to put an animal down, but that is better than seeing her attack someone.  Now, THAT would be truly heart-breaking.

Sofia

smohr

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #25 on: November 03, 2005, 09:28:27 pm »
The last and I mean last behaviorist is coming to my home Tuesday to observe and advise about Petra.  She asked if I would be able to accept her advice if it was euth and I said yes. 

It's strange.  Petra has been acting so great the past few days.  Maybe she senses something...  :'(

Offline shangrila

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #26 on: November 03, 2005, 10:37:41 pm »
I just want to tell you that my heart breaks for you.  :'(

Whatever happens, I hope you know that BPO will be here to support you.
RIP former BPO

Icerotti

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #27 on: November 03, 2005, 10:56:15 pm »
 It has to be a horrible decision to make. I know that you have put much time and effort into Petra. You have explored/ tried many options with your situation. You know in your heart that you have explored all avenues to be taken. You gave her all you could and she knows that.
No matter what your decision is I support you.
My heart goes out to you at such a difficult time.
Michelle

dohertyswissy

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #28 on: November 04, 2005, 01:01:05 am »
I simply cannot imagine the pain you are going through at this time.  Rest assured that you have gone above and beyond what the average person would do to rehabilitate Petra...the true mark of a responsible and caring furkid parent.

I will be thinking of you.  My heart goes out to you and Petra.  I know that, in the end, you will make the right decision for Petra.

BPO is here to support you in whatever way you need us.

Hugs,
Heather

Offline babs2Sully

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Re: HEART-WRENCHING DECISION
« Reply #29 on: November 04, 2005, 09:33:12 am »
this is so sad for you and Petra..
I can understand having been there a few years ago with a part lab pup we got from the ASPCA.  Elijah was my daughter's dog and he lived with her in the city.  We had seen some aggressive behaviors toward men. When my son carried his lacrosse stick into the house over his head, Elijah went after him. So, we figured abuse and beatings had been part of Elijah's life.  We were very careful that he not run free ever. and worked diligently on his training and behaviors.
But then he attacked a young man on the streets while being walked on his lead and we knew that nothing we could do could help with him.
Very simply there is nothing you have done to cause Petra to act that way, but those early months something was wrong with how he was treated or how his owners interacted with Petra.
I hope this behaviorist has an answer for you that is not what appears to be the obvious..
Please, I'm interested to hear how things go.
Hugs
Babs