When we take my 2year old neo Daisy to the vet. I now know not to use restraints. My vet is a man, and uses a stern voice with her, and uses guts i wouldnt have. If we use nurses and restrain her she fights for her life. If he talks to her, uses alot of stern voice correction, its a lot calmer in the room. Now Daisy has never snapped, or even shown her teeth, she has growled. But she is submissive in the long run.
Please, i am not sure if I read your post right, but did you praise her and give her treats after you tried her front paws?? That would be rewarding her for bad behavior. Also, if she listens good when dear hubby is around, is she the same when he is not around. Remember, you will have two woman in this house now.
I wish you luck. If you need some help feel free to email me. Also, do you know this dogs breeding?? I say this because I have run into 3 dogs this last year with similiar problems. Come to find out. Their grandparents were brother and sister. My fingers are crossed for you. A dog not comfortable in its own skin, that feels it has to be in defense all the time is a sad dog. I am so sorry for you