Mind Games Dogs Play With Humans
1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL
DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry your-
self off on the sheets. This is especially good if it's
right before your human's bedtime.
2. Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home,
put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and
act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch
as the humans frantically search the house for the damage
they think you have caused.(Note: This only works when you
have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
3. Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it
perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone
else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no
idea what they're talking about.
4. Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go
'pee', sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act
as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide
the fate of the earth.
5. Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always
pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo'. Take your
time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly
well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
6. When out for a walk, alternate between choking and cough-
ing every time a strange human walks by.
7. Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick
when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase
it once in a while.
8. Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't
greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make
them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don't
reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and
close to tears).
9. When your human calls you to come back in, always take
your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.
10. Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set
to go off and make the humans take you out for your morn-
ing business. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep.
(Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside,
this will drive them nuts!)
